Three pigs demonstrate Multi-faceted Fundraising

For our next "thriller" we turn to a different world and a different time. You all remember the story of the “Three Little Pigs?” Where the wolf huffed and puffed, etc. First came the straw house. It collapsed on the first huff-and-puff. Then the twig house collapsed after some more huffing and puffing. But the third house was made out of brick, so it stood fast. The ole wolf huffed and puffed, puffed and huffed, and couldn't budge it.

You might not have heard what happened next, but the sequel to the story is that the three little pigs came to live together in the brick house, because it was the best bastion against that mean old wolf.

But there was a problem that developed there that not many have heard about. The three pigs hired a chef to prepare their meals for them. They didn’t like to cook, but spent all their time picking stocks and investing as day traders. So at the end of the day they’d all be hungry enough to eat a wolf, but there would be no wolf to eat because nobody was there to catch and cook him. So they hired a chef to cook their meals.

On the first night, the chef prepared chicken Caesar salads. When the first little piggy dug into his salad, it looked like this would be a hit. He smacked his lips and declared that “This is the best thing I ever ate!” However, the other two pigs turned up their noses at the chicken Caesar salad. Piggy #2 didn’t like it because it had bitter lettuce, and Piggy #3 didn’t like it because he just didn’t like chicken. Eggs were OK, but chicken reminded him too much of another pig story we won’t touch on now, but it involved "total commitment."

The next night the chef prepared lasagna, and Piggy #3 thought that was very fine. But Pig #2 thought it didn’t have enough vegetables in it, while Pig #1 objected to the ricotta cheese, which he said didn’t go with the tomato flavor.

What to do? So the next night the chef prepared escargot. Hey! Couldn’t go wrong with seafood, could he? What a disaster! Pig #1 turned up his nose; Pig #2 didn’t like the shells, and Pig #3 thought they were too greasy.

So the chef sat down and thought about this situation. This was tough. He had never experienced anything like this before. People always loved his food, and here these three pigs couldn’t agree on anything.

And then, suddenly, the chef had an idea! “Brilliant!” he thought. “Just the thing for these picky pigs! We’ll teach them a lesson!”

The very next night, the chef stood at the door to watch as the Three Little Pigs trouped into the dining room, after a hard day’s trading. Such a surprise greeted them! The plates, instead of being on the table, were on the sideboard, as was the good silver, glasses and napkins. And next to those implements was a grand smorgasbord, a whole buffet of choices.

To the right were meatballs, next were noodles, then meatloaf, then a grilled salmon, then tossed salad, then shish kabob. Six different desserts topped off the meal. Each pig headed for his favorite dish. There was total silence; no complaining, no griping or grousing. Everyone was satisfied and, as they ate hungrily, the chef knew that the answer to the problem he had faced was to serve a multi-faceted dinner – a buffet, through which he could appeal to each of the pigs’ individual tastes with a marvelous gustatory creation!

Fundraising is the same way.